


The Light and The Darkness

by Winterbells



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, M/M, only a bit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-05 02:29:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11004102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterbells/pseuds/Winterbells
Summary: I personally really liked season 11 and the Amara plot line except for the whole Dean/Amara thing, so this is how I think the story would have gone if Castiel and Dean had been canon since the beginning of the season.





	1. Out of the Darkness into the Fire

**Out of the Darkness into the Fire**

 

Dean found himself surrounded by black fog, a woman dressed in black standing with her back to him. “Hey, what’s going on?” He yelled. Just moments ago he had been sitting in the Impala next to his brother, but now he had no idea where he was. The woman made a gesture of acknowledgement but did not fully turn towards him. He felt safe. “Thank you” the woman said still facing away “you set me free”. Technically Rowena had set her free with the spell but Dean wasn’t about to argue the details with her, “You said your thanks so let’s talk about what happens next” he muttered. “I like it here, with you. I haven’t felt this peaceful in a long time” she responded calmly, like she was looking at a sunset on a beach, not surrounded by a dark cloud. “Well let’s get something straight I’m not here to bring you peace, I know what you are” he said darkly. “Really?” she sounded surprised “I've been gone so long I don’t think anyone remembered”. “Well Death painted a hell of a picture” Death had seemed frightened when describing the Darkness to Dean, but he for some reason he felt oddly calm. “I don’t know this death and he doesn't know me” the Darkness seemed genuinely confused. “So you’re saying i shouldn't try to kill you right now?” Dean asked. “Did i say that or are you?” She retorted. “If you’re as bad as they say you are why haven’t you hurt me” Dean tried to change the subject. “For the same reason you’ll never hurt me” she told him. She moved the strap of her dress and showed Dean the Mark of Cain that rested on her chest. “We’re bound dean, we’ll always be bound” She stared intently at him. “You helped me, I helped you no matter where I am who i am we will aways help each other” That’s the last thing he remembers before Sam shakes him awake in the middle of a field. 

As they walked back to the Impala, Dean explained all he knew to Sam, the Darkness was free and for some reason she felt something towards Dean. They would find Castiel and the three of them would find a way to put her back in no matter what it took. He pulled his phone out and tried to call his boyfriend but was immediately met with Castiel’s voice message, Dean chalked it up to the Darkness having been let free, surely the phone lines were down and he would find Cas back at the bunker when he got back, but he still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was not quite right.

The brothers set towards the bunker but were stopped half way, a road was being blocked a few cars, including a police car, and what looked to be some kind of construction area. They exited the Impala guns in hand, dead bodies littered the street, Dean was relieved when he saw movement from the corner of his eye but it soon turned into dread when he spotted the black veins on the construction workers neck. 

“Hey, easy buddy, just stay calm until we figure out what’s going on here okay?” Dean said to the approaching man. However he kept walking towards them as if he hadn't heard him. “You’re narrowing my options here” he tried again, “We don’t even know what he is” pitched Sam from behind him. The man kept walking and just as Dean was about to pull the trigger a gun shot hit the man from behind, killing him instantly. 

A cop was kneeling behind the police car came into view, “Weapons on the ground, slow” she commanded. “Easy there officer, we’re FBI. We’ve got badges” Dean told her, hoping she would lower her rifle, or at least stop pointing it at them. That however didn't reassure the officer as she reloaded the gun “No, show me some skin”  Well, that was unexpected “Huh” “What” Sam and Dean both let out confused expressions. “Show me your neck” she told them again. She thought they were like the other guy too. They both showed her their necks and when she lowered her weapon they realized she was hurt. Sam and Dean approached her and she explained how the construction workers had gone crazy and started killing and attacking families on the road. She had to shoot, the pained expression in her eyes was evident. Dean noticed that the would on her side was still bleeding so her offered to stitch up, the three of them got into the Impala and drove to the nearest hospital, but were greeted with another massacre sight. Sam went to look around the hospital while the officer, who identified herself as Jenna, led Dean towards a room where he could sow her up.

“It’s gonna hurt like a son of a bitch” Dean declared while he sterilized the needle. He worked on her side while the talked about the situation, suddenly Sam came back with a man holding a baby. The mother hadn’t made it. The man, Mike, told them how he and his daughter had managed to escape the rabid construction workers, when Sam noticed the black veins growing on the side of Mike’s neck. They had a plan, it was simple, save the baby. But Sam thought they should find a cure and save everyone they could, while Dean thought they should get the hell out of there and shoot anything that crossed their paths. 

They kept arguing back an forwards neither willing to budge when Dean’s phone started ringing, when he saw Cas’s name show up on his screen a wave of relief washed over him. “Where are you Cas” Dean said walking towards the wall, worry evident in his tone. “I’m okay” Cas sounded weak, the furthest thing from okay. “You don’t sound okay” Dean said, his heart started to race, he had no idea where Cas was, and he sounded badly hurt. “Dean, I’m fine” Cas said in the least convincing voice possible “beside what I have, you can’t help me”. Damn it. “What do you mean what you have?” there was definitely something wrong with Cas, he had to get out go there and find him. “Just please tell Sam, Rowena escaped with the book of the damned and the codex.” Castiel completely brushed off Dean’s concern. “Forget Rowena, where the hell are you?” He didn’t care about the witch she could stolen the declaration of independence and he still wouldn’t care. He needed to find Cas now. “Now you tell me the mark-” “Oh you’re worried about me after everything that I’ve-” Now was not the time to be arguing. “Dean, is it gone?” Castiel demanded to know. “Yes, I’m fine but Cas, sweetheart, what’s wrong with you?” Dean basically pleaded, he needed to know his angel was alright. “Dean, I promise you I will be fine” He didn't believe him for a second, but he put him on speaker “Cas, what do you know about the Darkness?” Dean asked. “Why do you want to know about the Darkness?” “Because it’s free” Sam said. “No. It can’t be” Castiel said with uncertainty. “Removing the mark opened some kind of lock, Dean saw her. Apparently she has a crush on him.” Sam informed him while Dean turned to glare at his brother. “The darkness is a woman?” that was definitely not jealousy in his voice. “Well, that’s what we’re asking you” Sam said trying to steer away from that road, feeling slightly guilty he didn’t let his brother explain the situation to the angel. “We were hoping you could tell us how screwed we are” Dean added. Pause. “Cas?” Dean tried again. “Sam, Dean Goodbye.” The line went dead. “Wait Cas! Cas!” Dean shouted at the phone. “FBI my ass” Jenna pitched from behind. Sam turned to give her a half hearted glare, while Dean desperately tried to redial Castiel’s number, but it went straight to voicemail.

Sam and Dean continued to argue the best plan to get out of the hospital, Sam was firm that they had to try to save the infected people, but Dean was now desperate to find Castiel. Neither of them was backing down. “Look, I get it. I do. We’re gonna find Cas and save that baby. And we’re gonna find a way to stop the Darkness” Sam tried one more time to reason with Dean. “You don’t get it, I need to find Cas and I don’t have to find a cure and save everyone Sam. We can’t save Cas if we’re stuck in some hospital. I’m going save that baby and I’m going to leave this room” Dean responded with determination in his voice. They continued to go back and forward yelling the same arguments. Until they decided, Dean was going to leave with Jenna and the baby, while Sam was going to stay behind and find a cure. No one was going to die.

 


	2. Form and Void

**Form and Void**

 

Leaving the hospital Dean and Jenna had encountered Mike who tried to take the baby away, but he wasn’t so far gone that he wouldn’t listen to reason. After threatening him with guns, he let them leave but not before informing him that the baby’s name was Amara. 

Dean drove Jenna and Amara up to Jenna’s grandmother’s house, he was sure they were going to be safe there, that way he could go back to the bunker and trace where Castiel had called him from so he could go rescue his idiotic boyfriend from whatever shit he had gotten himself into. Dean held Amara a little while before handing her back to Jenna, the little bundle smiled up at him clearly enamoured and not for the first time Dean found himself wishing he could have a family. Maybe he and Cas could adopt a child after this whole Darkness thing was dealt with, but you can’t really leave the hunter life, so he would have to put his dream on hold for a long time. 

He got into the car and tried calling Cas again, the phone was ringing but no one picked up. “Damn it Cas, pick up” Dean thought. He tried dialing again but it went straight to voicemail this time. He decided to go back to Sam, pick him up so they could go back to bunker so Sam could work on the cure and he could locate Castiel. However, on the way there he received a panicked call from Jenna, he made a U turn and headed back towards the house. As he sped through the road, rain trickling down outside, Dean called Sam to let him know he wouldn’t be arriving soon. 

Dean pulled up outside the house and Jenna met him at the driveway. “I tried to stop her, but my grandma is real catholic” she explained. Apparently she had called her priest who in turn had sent over an exorcist. That should be fun. However Dean wasn’t prepared for who met him once inside. “Hello my son” said Crowley from the chair he was sitting in, dressed as a priest sipping tea. What? “Crowley” Dean asked. “Father Crowley” he responded making it clear Dean should shut up and play along. He made up some bullshit story about Dean being a cute alter boy and Dean demanded they meet outside.

Dean and Crowley bickered outside and Dean was fighting the urge to punch the demon in the face. They were trying to figure out what the malignant presence in the house was when they heard a blood curling scream. They rushed back inside to find the grandmother on the floor with her throat cut lying in a pool of blood. Amara was crying upstairs and when Dean reached her she calmed down immediately, he then noticed the Mark of Cain in the exact same place as the Darkness. “The child likes you. No surprise really, you’re very maternal” mused Crowley from the door. They heard shattering from the room next door. Jenna was dropping her grandmother’s ceramic angels on the floor with amusement on her face. “Don’t worry she won't mind, I cut her throat” she told them with a grin. “And why would you do that?” Dean asked. “Because this woman doesn’t have a soul” Crowley answered for her. Amara had taken her soul. She was hungry. Jenna pulled out a knife and tried to slash Dean with it. He pushed her away and they struggled, Crowley watching them like he was watching a MMA fight. Jenna had the upper hand and was about to stab Dean, when Crowley threw her against the roof, instantly killing her. “I was getting bored” he offered.

Crowley headed for Amara’s room as Dean stopped him, it became evident that Crowley wanted to use her while Dean wanted to kill her. Unfortunately Crowley realized that Dean wouldn't be able to kill the child. He threw Dean into the closet and Dean pinned him to the wall with a seraph blade. He took the demon killing knife and went to Amara’s room, set on killing her, but when he reached the crib, Amara was no longer there and Crowley had vanished.

Shit, Crowley had the kid, just what Dean needed. He got back into the Impala and tried calling Cas but still no answer, he called Sam, and when he answered he told him he was going to pick him up. Dean headed over to the hospital. He was worried about Cas, he had sounded absolutely terrible over the phone, sure he was an angel but still he wasn't indestructible. Why hadn’t he picked up the phone, sure maybe Sam was wrong to have mentioned the Darkness having a crush on him, but while Castiel had the occasional jealous streak he wasn't one to blow things out of proportion and not talk to him. Something must have happened. 

Once he reached the hospital, Sam met him outside. “You okay?” he asked Sam, his brother looked fine, he seemed very pleased with himself. “Holy fire” he said with a smirk. “What?” Dean said confused. “Holy fire” he repeated “that’s the cure. Just hold it up to them and the infection goes away.” Holy crap, Sam had managed to find a cure after all, and by himself. He was really proud of his brother. Dean explained to Sam the whole ordeal with the Darkness and Amara on the way back to the bunker. 

“I still don’t understand, I mean I thought the Darkness was a woman, no a child” Sam tried to wrap his head around everything. “So did I. I don’t know, maybe whatever I saw wasn't real. It could've been a vision.” Dean mused. They wandered into the library and saw the books piled up still reading of gasoline. “We should get a maid” Dean said “but one with a uniform” he was joking, they did need a maid but his heart was already someone else’s “and big-” he was interrupted by the sound of shuffling behind the books. Sam and Dean looked at each other and pulled their guns out, the slowly approached the pile of books and Dean’s heart dropped, lying on the floor was Castiel, shirt drenched in blood, his face had a gash along his cheek, and his eyes were red. “Help me” Cas croaked. Dean quickly sprung into action and knelt by his side, clutching Cas to his chest. “What happened Cas? Talk to me sweetheart” Dean said, his voice breaking. He noticed Cas had his hands in handcuffs and he shuffled to tried and take them off but Castiel pulled his arms towards himself “No, I’ll hurt you” he managed to say. “What are you talking about Cas?” 

“Rowena put a curse on me, I killed Crowley, well I tried, he managed to get away. I don’t want to hurt you Dean, please don’t take off the handcuffs” Dean pulled Cas closer to his chest tucking him in under his chin, but made no other attempt at taking the handcuffs off. Sam turned to look at Dean and in silent agreement went down to the infirmary to fetch the first aid kit. “Did Rowena do this as well?” Dean gestured to the bloody shirt. “No, that was some angels. Hannah told them to torture me for information on Metatron so she could swoop in, save me and I’d tell her where you were” Castiel explained “She’s dead, so are the other two angels. I came here, I would have called but they broke me phone” Dean was fuming. He saw red, how could two angels hurt another like that, they were supposed to be angels for Christ’s sake. And Hannah, he thought she was on their side, well no he knew she hate him, but at least she had a soft spot for Cas. Guess he was wrong. 

He pressed light kisses against Castiel’s face, trying to heal his wounds. Sam came up the stairs and handed Dean the first aid kit and left to the kitchen to make some food for the three of them, they looked like they needed it. 

Dean gently got up and led Cas to their bedroom and gingerly set him down on the bed. He unbuttoned Cas’s shirt and loosed his tie. He threw them both away, Castiel had the same tie and shirt like 10 times he could afford to lose one set. Most of his wound where already healed, he assumed Hanna did it while trying to win Cas’s trust. He made quick work of cleaning the dried blood and dirt off his angel’s body. At some point, Cas fell asleep, so when Dean was done, he tucked Cas in and went to the kitchen to join Sam.

“He’s going to fine, Dean, we’ll find Rowena and make her remove the curse” Sam told his brother. They sat down at the table with a plate of pasta in front of them, Sam was happily munching away but Dean had lost his appetite. “Yes, but he’s in pain. How do I make that stop?” Dean muttered. “This isn’t your fault Dean, you can’t blame yourself. You can however go back to that room and be with him.” Sam told him, laying a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

Dean got up from the table and headed back to his bedroom, at least he could be there to sooth Castiel, even if he couldn’t do much more.


	3. The Bad Seed

**The Bad Seed**

 

It was a tough night, Dean couldn’t sleep because his brain was clouded with thoughts of Cas, he needed to find a way to break the curse, or at least slow it down, he wasn’t stupid, he could tell  Cas was in more pain than he was letting on. While Cas managed to get a bit of shut eye the curse wouldn’t let him rest for long. Every couple of hours he would wake up with a raged look in his eyes and a urge to maim something, until Dean held him to his chest and calmed him down with quiet whispers. It was needless to say neither of them were well rested come the morning. Dean vowed to find and possibly murder Crowley’s mother.

Next day, Dean got out of bed early and went to prepare breakfast for the three occupants of the bunker. He wasn’t the best cook in the world but he knew his way around the kitchen, Dean was tired so he stuck to the basics, eggs, bacon and coffee. Once everything was set up on the table and the plates where still hot, he knocked on Sam’s door and then went to check on Cas again. He was awake and stable for the time being, so they went to the kitchen together, Castiel still in handcuffs and sat down at the table where Sam was already halfway through his plate.

When all the food was gone and all the plates were washed, the three of them headed back to the library and tried to figure out where Amara had gone, where Crowley had taken her. “So that was the last of the neighbours, just like the rest” Sam said, frustration seeping in his voice “we got nothing, no one saw anything unusual going on at the house the day that the baby disappeared.” “If this is truly the Darkness we’re talking about it’s way more of a time bomb than a baby” Cas croaked from his spot on the table. Dean had covered him head to toe in a smokey grey blanket, Cas hadn’t stopped shivering all night so Dean thought warming him up was a good idea. “But it is still a baby. right the darkness I saw an adult so it still has to grow up” Dean responded, trying to not bring up the whole ‘We are bonded’ thing, Cas was not okay at the moment and the last thing he needed was to worry so infinite power was going to seduce his boyfriend away from him. “The Darkness is almost infinite power Im not sure what growing up means in this case” Cas did have a fair point here. “Well god kicked this things ass before right?” Sam asked. “Yeah it be nice if he put down the mai tai and show up for work” Dean refuted. “I wouldn’t count on it” Cas said as he stretched his arms, handcuffs rattling against the table.

“I’m so sorry about that, honey, I wish we could take them off, but until we figure out a way to stop the curse, you’re kind of a wild card at the moment.” Dean looked apologetically at Cas. The three of them continued to discuss the best plan of action to go up against the Darkness, Sam thought it would be a good idea to ask Metatron for help, seeing as he was the scribe of God, but Dean was having none of it, that poor excuse of an angel was the reason Cas lost his wings and almost died. There was also the fact the Metratron had killed Dean, turning him into a Demon, so asking him for help wasn’t even on the list of possibilities for Dean. 

Suddenly Cas started violently shaking and Dean rushed to his side. “You know, Rowena is the only one that can remove it.” Sam said a little condescendingly. “I’m doing everything I can to find her okay? So far I’ve got nothing” Dean responded a little annoyed. “It getting worse” Sam stated. Now Dean loved his brother, but if looks could kill. Castiel kept groaning and shaking, so Dean decided to suck it up and call Crowely, they weren’t exactly on the best of terms, but damn it he needed him to rat out his mother’s hiding place. An hour and twelve voicemails later Crowley was still AWOL. “Why isn’t he answering the phone?” Dean demanded to no one in particular. “Because he’s a dick” Sam told him like it was the most obvious thing in the world “and that’s not breaking news”. “He has to be keeping tabs on Rowena, I mean she did try and kill him” Dean said standing behind Cas and rubbing his shoulder lightly. “Yes, but he isn’t going to give her up to us just so she can undo the spell. He would rather it just do to me whatever its going to do to me.” Cas said looking up at Dean. “Yeah, well I’m not going to let that happen” Dean told him and leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead. 

“Well, Metatron is also off the grid” Sam interrupted “I mean he stole your car in Missouri right?” he asked Cas and Cas nodded. “Yeah, no accidents, incidents, violations or anything remotely interesting involving a 78’ crappy continental Mark V” Sam said exasperated. “You think it’s crappy?” Cas asked with a mixture between offended and hurt and turned to look at Dean. “Eye of the beholder” Dean said shakily, in all honesty he hated the car, but he wasn't about to kick his guy when he’s down. “He’s been shut in for thousands of years, you wouldn’t think he would be a good driver” Castiel tried to turn the subject away from his beloved car. “Well, what weird places might Metatron hang out in?” Sam asked the angel. “Cas?” He asked again when there was no answer. Castiel was shaking again and missed what Sam had said so he turned to look at Dean for clarification. “Places Metatron might hang out” Dean said. “ Um, he loves waffles, you can try places that have those” Cas tried before the shaking started again and suddenly turned into seizures, Dean wasn’t out of his seat quick enough to prevent Cas from falling to the ground, but he did turn him face up and held him down to try to stop the seizures. They lasted for a few minutes but Cas didn’t wake up straight away, he was burning up, so Dean took the blanket off of him and turned it into a makeshift pillow and placed it gently under Cas’s head. He sat down next to him and cradled his angel’s face, Sam stayed silent on the side worry evident in his features. 

It took longer than a few minutes for Castiel to wake up, but once he did he heard Sam’s voice “Hey, are you okay?” “Relative to what” Castiel managed to answer. “Do you know where you are? What’s the date? Do you know who I am?” Dean bombarded him with questions. “Earth. Several billion years from the beginning. The idiot I’m in love with” The last one managed to get a grin out of Dean. “Come on baby” Dean said as both brothers pulled Cas into a sitting position.

“It’s like I was inside a blender that was set to puree to make tomato salsa” Cas said from his position on the floor. “And you’re the tomato?” Dean said with a small grin. “In this analogy, yes” Dean pulled him close and kissed his temple.

“Cas what was that? You scared the crap out of us” Sam asked, worried. “I blacked out for a lot of it, but I, I don’t know. It overwhelmed me, I couldn’t control it” Cas answered. Both the boys pulled him up and sat him down on the chair he had fallen out of. “We have to find that witch” Dean announced. “What can I do to help?” Cas asked even though he felt useless. “No, I’m taking you back to bed and you rest, we’ve got this” Dean told him firmly, wrapping the blanket around him once more and led him back to their room. Sam did some research and found that in Denver three women were having lunch when they’re waiter unexplainably stabbed and killed one, another one survived and the third mysteriously vanished. Sam hadn’t finished talking when Dean was already on the phone with the lead detective on the case. 

The Winchester brothers set off to Denver to question the surviving woman, and after a little bit of coaxing she gave them Rowena’s location. The plan was Dean would dress up as a cab driver to pick up Rowena and Sam would attack her from behind. It could’ve gone down better but hey at least they caught the bitch, witch. They took her back to the bunker and tied her down, looking through her bags they found the codex, but not the Book of the Damned. Dean sent Sam to fetch Castiel while he talked to Rowena, he wanted nothing more than to break her little neck, but her needed her to take the spell off of Cas. Sam came running down, Cas was no longer in the bunker, he had broken free.  

The three of them, Sam, Dean, and Rowena chained up in the back where tracking Cas’s phone from the Impala, driving around the city trying to locate him. Rowena was bitching about how she could locate him faster if they took the iron chains off, but they weren’t stupid enough to believe her. So in return she ratted Sam out about their deal to kill Crowley in exchange for taking the mark off Dean.  “I was going to tell you, obviously” Sam said trying to take control of the situation “but nothing ever came of it, so what’s the point” “No, point huh?” Dean said slightly pissed off but trying not to show it in front of Rowena. “I mean I see what Dean says, his wee boyfriend Castiel wouldn’t be in this mess if you’d done what you promised” Rowena retorted. “I would have had no reason to cast that dog spell if Crowley were already dead. Excellent point” She said. “It’s not my point. Sam knows my point. The word ‘secrets’ ”Dean gripped the steering wheel tightly. 

“Hey, look it stopped” Sam said pointing to the iPad where Cas’s GPS signal was coming from “He’s close”. Dean drove to where the flashing green point told him to, they got to an abandoned  warehouse  and pulled Rowena with them. Sam and Rowena went to the right while Dean went to the left, it was Dean  who found him with his hand pressing against a young girl’s throat. “Cas? Cas? Sweetheart? This isn’t you, this is the spell. You can beat this, Cas? Let her go” Dean pleaded. It worked, he let the girl go and she ran away. Dean approached him slowly “Hey, it’s going to be alright baby” he said as he put his arms around him. Cas, however, was to far gone, he though Dean into some crates and then again against a fence, and as if that wasn’t enough he started punched the crap out of his face. But that’s when Rowena and Sam showed up, the witch started chanting a spell and Castiel fell to the floor, once again having a seizure. “Cas? Baby? Cas?” Dean said, his face covered in blood but he was trying to hold Cas still. Suddenly he stopped moving “Cas? Hey” he said softly, cradling his face, Castiel awakened and bright blue eyes stared up at Dean and relief washed over him. He pulled Cas up to a sitting position, hands still cupping his face. “Hey” Dean said softly with a smile adorning his face, the moment was ruined by Rowena making a break for it and shoving Sam against some boxes, Dean ran to try and stop her but she pulled down a metal curtain separating them from her. Sam got up and along with Dean went to help Cas up, together they walked back to the car and headed back to the bunker, Castiel fell asleep almost immediately and Sam and Dean spent the rest of the trip in comfortable silence. Rowena had escaped but at least Cas was safe and that was enough for now.

Back at the bunker the three of them sat at the table, Dean was still pretty banged up and was holding an icepack to his face, Cas insisted on healing him, but Dean refused Castiel was still too weak and he was still feeling guilty about punching the shit out of Cas when he still being influenced by the Mark of Cain. “You should keep applying that” Sam told him as he handed Dean a beer, when he saw Dean had taken off the ice pack. “Thanks, mum, you should keep the beers coming” Dean responded sarcastically. “Dean, I’m- There aren’t words” Castiel started “You’re right there aren’t words Cas, because there is no need, you were under a spell, it’s fine.” Dean interrupted him, this wasn’t Castiel’s fault. “Yeah but you had Rowena and because of me-” “Cas we have the codex, it’s a start. That will slow Rowena down somehow, if we killed her the book of the damned would have been lost forever.” Sam explained. “Plus we have bigger fish to fry” Dean pitched. “The Darkness. What does she want?” Cas asked. “The question is ‘Where is she?’” Dean said from his chair, and winced when he tried to take another sip of his beer. “Dean, please, I can fix that” Castiel’s voice was unusually soft, undoubtably from the guilt he was feeling over hurting Dean. “No, its fine Cas, beside i had it coming” Dean responded. They looked at each other having a silent conversation between them, Sam looked slightly uncomfortable as he could sense that things weren’t exactly smooth at the moment between the two of them. Dean sighed “look, let’s just go to bed. Neither of us has been sleeping well since we set the Darkness free and we could use a good night’s rest. Okay?” He said. “Yes” Castiel got up, “Goodnight, Sam” “‘Night Sammy” they said and together they headed back to their room.

Dean wasn’t kidding he really was tired and wanted to sleep, so once inside their room he stripped to his shirt and boxers and help Cas do the same. When Castiel got his grace back, he hadn’t needed to sleep like he did when he was human, but he found it was one of the things he could do and actually enjoyed. Food was not an option but sleep still was, plus it was better than watching Dean sleep all night. They settled next to each other and Dean turned of the lamp on his bedside table. “We’re going to have to talk about this” Cas said quietly “I know, but not tonight. Let’s just go to sleep” Dean wrapped his arms around his angel and pulled him towards his chest, spooning him. “Sleep” he whispered to the back of his head and they both fell into a peaceful sleep.


	4. Baby

**Baby**

 

That old black Chevy Impala rolled off the assembly line in Janesville, Wisconsin, on April 24, 1967. Her first owner was Sal Moriarty, who bought her for $3999 and drove around in her giving Bibles to the poor. She was later purchased by a man named John Winchester after a another young man convinced him to buy it instead of a minivan. It turned out that that young man was Dean Winchester, who would later become the owner of this beauty. 

Dean had washed his beloved Impala and every other car in the bunker twice this week. They hadn’t had any cases these past few days and Cas was still recovering from the spell Rowena had cast on him, so they had taken a lazy drive around the city to relax a bit but hadn’t put to much stress on him. He loved Cas, honestly, but he just needed a case to take his mind off of things. He was washing the Impala for a third time when Sam came to tell him he might have found them a case. Castiel was still to weak to go with them, so the brothers headed to Oregon alone just like old times. 

 

They were driving in the rain when Cas called to check up “Hey Cas everything alright?” Sam answered the phone. “Yeah, I’m fine I was just reading up on the other cases on the area you’re going to. I have not found anything yet that matches” he told them. “Cas you’ve got one job to do and that’s to heal do you understand me?” Dean berated him. “I can help” Cas said. “Of course you can cas but right now is the time for you to focus on getting better, this is just a milk run. We go it, so try and relax” Sam told him “Read a book, watch Netflix” “What’s a Netflix” he asked. The brothers let out a breathy laugh “Go to the bedroom, turn on the TV and you’ll figure it out” Dean told him. “Alright, but call if you need anything” he tried again. “We’ve got it babe, thanks” Dean said with a finality in his voice and Sam hung up the phone.

They drove for a few more hours until Dean reached the familiar bar. “Are you serious? Dean it’s late, I’m exhausted, and starving and this place, I mean even Swayze wouldn’t come to this roadhouse” Sam tried to convince his brother. “First of all, never use Swayze’s name in vain. Ever.  Second, we’re just going to have a few drinks and that’s it I promise. I’m a taken man anyways.” Dean really needed a drink. Even though Cas was feeling much better, things were still a little bit strained, he really wanted to fix Dean’s face, but Dean thought it was fair that he stay like this after how he had left Cas at the bunker a few months prior, he was under the influence of the Mark, but still.

“No Dean, I really just want to eat and do some more research. You’re on your own for this one” Sam wouldn’t give in so Dean went into the Roadhouse for a few drinks while Sam went to the diner next door for some sustenance. Dean was still in the bar when Sam came back to the car, not alone. He laid out a blanket on the backseat and led the pretty waitress in. Needless to say Sam had a very fun night. 

Around 5 in the morning Dean came out a little tipsy but with all his clothes still on and was very amused to find Sam and his lady sleeping in the back seat. Sam was never going to live this down. It wasn’t like Dean hadn’t had his fun in baby, Hell, he and Cas had occasionally slipped away for a quickie in the Impala on those long night on the road, but Sam wasn’t really the type so Dean was most certainly amused.

“It was nice knowing Piper” Sam said with a small smile on his face. “One night wonder, man” Dean replied. “Sometimes I wonder, what it would be like, to have something more” Sam mused. “I’m sorry, have you met us?  We’re not exactly made for domestic life, man.” Dean countered. “I don’t mean marriage and raising kids, Dean. Sometimes I wish I had someone like Cas.” Sam told him. “Excuse me” Dean’s voice came out a little rough. “I don’t mean it like that” Sam said “I just meant someone who knows the life, a hunter. I don't know.” Dean looked at his brother, “someday you’ll find someone Sammy” he promised. He started thinking about Cas, and this stupid guilt thing they had going on, it had to stop. 

They kept driving for the rest of the day and most of the night, eventually Sam fell asleep in the backseat and Dean managed to keep driving for a few more hours until he too felt his eyelids drooping. 

When Sam woke up, Dean had pulled over and was stretched across the front seats with his laptop on his lap. He’d been having dreams lately, visions, from God so he decided to tell Dean about them rather than keep more secrets, but Dean wasn’t really buying the God sending visions idea. They did however start talking about their dreams, it wasn’t something they did, ever, but Dean apparently dreamt of their father often, he longed for a normal life.  

 

When they finally reached Oregon, Dean went to the morgue to find out all he could about the victim. The odd thing was, the heart was missing, consistent with a werewolf attack, but the body was also drained of blood, like a vampire. So they were either dealing with some kind of hybrid or they were dealing with something completely new. He decided he was not going to find anything on his own, so when he went to call Cas to check up on him, he asked him to check the lore.

“Hey Dean.” Cas picked up on the first ring. “Heya sweetheart, did you figure out how the Netflix works?” Dean asked slightly mocking him. “Ha ha, very funny but yes I did. There seem to be a lot of options here. I’m not sure what to watch.” He responded. Dean hadn't stopped thinking about his conversation with Sam the night before, “Hey Cas? You know I love you, right? I never thought, I never thought I would be able to have a real relationship. Not with the life we live, but with you, I can. And more importantly, I want to.” Cas paused, thinking about what to answer. “Dean, I love you too, very much so. Did something happen? Are you ok?” 

“Everything is fine Cas, I promise.” Dean knew Castiel loved him, but hearing it always sent a pleasant feeling to his stomach. “But if you still want to help, I’ve got some info on the creature we’re hunting, I was wondering if you could check the archives back in the bunker.”

 

Dean was insisting they call it some stupid name like were-pire but Sam but his foot down. He’d already let Dean name the Jefferson Starships, he wasn’t going to end up with another monster with a terrible name. The sheriff’s replacement wasn't the most diligent of officers but he helped them out nonetheless, he pointed them to the nearest motel and the best stakes in the county. Only problem, Valet Parking. When they came out, baby was in tip top shape so Dean relaxed a little and drove Sam to the widow’s house so that he could go back to the crime scene.

 

He was checking out the scene when his phone started ringing,  he got inside the Impala and answered it. “Cas, are you okay” “I’m mostly confused, I’m not sure how orange correlates with black in a way that’s new.” Came Castiel’s graveling voice. “Step away from the Netflix” Dean said smirking. “I’m sorry” Cas apologized “It’s okay, we’ve all had a binge. We can watch Orange is the New black together when we get back. Have you found anything in the lore?” He asked. 

“There is a creature that feeds on hearts and blood” Cas started before Dean interrupted “You might say a were-pire, am I right?” Sam hadn’t gone for it, but Castiel might back him up. However Cas stayed silent for a moment, before continuing. Completely ignoring his boyfriends’ statement. “In the lore it’s known as a whisper, silver will kill it but you may want to decapitate it just to be sure” Cas told him. 

“Okay. Sounds good. I’m at the crime scene right now, and I can tell you it was definitely staged. The body was moved here so it would seem like an animal attack, but they did a very bad job. There are no signs of struggle.” Dean said, “What else have you got on these things?”

“Actually Whispers have a fascinating history, they-” Cas started to say. “Hang on” Dean interrupted him. Castiel kept talking about the Whispers unaware that Dean had already left the vehicle, with his phone inside it. He kept explaining their background and how they only hunted during the solar eclipse so he couldn’t be hunting one, but Dean heard none of it because he was currently being attacked by the sheriff. He completely missed Castiel calling the creature a were-pire, which Dean was sure was the worse part of all of it. Suddenly Castiel heard the sound of a door slamming shut. “Dean, what was that?” He asked, when he got no response he tried again “Dean?” They worry was evident in his voice, he could here the sounds of a struggle but he couldn't tell whether Dean was winning or not. If he still had his wings he would’ve flown there in an instant but he could only listen to the sounds of a fight. 

“Dean? Dean are you alright I can hear gunshots” Castiel has fighting the urge to get up and drive all the way to Oregon that instant “Dean, please” He begged “DEAN!” Castiel was already standing up and putting shoes on. “Turns out I did shoot the deputy” Dean’s voice was like the sound of angels to Castiel’s ears. “Dean, you’re okay? Listen to me the timing of lore is not right” He tried to warn Dean but the deputy was already up again and attacking Dean but he managed to get a blade from the trunk and chop it’s head off. 

“Scratch that” Dean said “You’ve got to cut off their-” Suddenly the head that landed on the windshield started growling at him.  “Dean it’s not a Whisper” Cas’s voice came through the phone. “Yeah, I think I got that,” Dean said “Give me a second” Dean got out of the car and put the sheriff’s head inside the cooler he had on the back seat. He took some picture or the creatures teeth and sent them to Cas. “Are you still there, Cas?” He asked “Of course, what’s going on?” Dean explained the whole situation, the creature was definitely not a Whisper and while silver slowed it down, it didn’t kill it “I’m sending you a picture of it’s teeth, could you see if you find something please?” He asked. “I’m on it. I love you” Cas said “Love you too” Dean answered before hanging up.

While he was fighting the monster, Sam had called. Apparently he and the widow had been jumped and they were dealing with a pack of were-pires. Dean drove to the address Sam texted him he was at, together they put the unconscious widow in the back seat next to the cooler with the head. They were driving when Dean’s phone went off “Hey Cas, tell me you have something” Dean said in lieu of a greeting. “It’s a Nachzehrer, it’s a ghoul and vampire creature” Cas explained. “A ghoul-pire” Dean exclaimed. It physically hurt Cas to crush his boyfriend’s enthusiasm but he kept on going “Some feed of the flesh of the dead, other on the heart and blood of the living. They run in small packs and keep a low profile.”

“Perfect, so how do we kill them?” Dean asked “Well they’re already dead, so technically they just need to be reminded that they’re dead. You’re going to need a copper coin.” Cas told them. “Of course, in ancient Greece when someone died some people believed you had to put a coin in their mouth to use as currency so they could cross the river to the underworld.” Sam said from the top of his head. “Right, you put a coin in its mouth and then sever its head. That’ll kill it. And according to the lore, if you kill the alfa the rest will turn back to humans.” Cas added. “Ok so we’re going to need pennies” Dean said “Yeah but one minted pre 1982, before they used to be 95% copper, now they’re just copper plated zinc” Sam informed them. “Wow, you’re nerdiness knows no bounds” Dean said with no real malice in his voice. “You’re welcome” said Sam slightly offended. “Alright, well thanks Cas,  good work. Way to come off the bench.” Dean said “What bench?” Cas asked. “You just get back to getting better okay?” Sam told him. “Love you, Cas.” Dean hung up. “You’re so whipped” Sam told his brother with a smirk on his face. “Shut up” Dean said, he stopped next to a gas-n-sip so Sam could get some pennies. 

While Sam was in the store, the widow woke up and in an unexpected turn of events she hijacked the Impala, kidnapped Dean and put the ghoul-pire back together. However, Dean managed to break free, put a coin in the alfa’s mouth and chop it’s head off, reverting everyone he had turned back to humans.

 

With everything put back in to place in Oregon the brothers headed back to the bunker. They had to stop for the night at a motel but were back on the road first thing in the morning. When they arrived, they grabbed their stuff and went to their respective rooms. The first thing Dean saw when he stepped inside was Cas lying on the bed watching The Wire, and from the looks of it he was already half way through the first season. “Honey I’m home” he said as he put his dumped the content of his duffel on the bed. He was sifting through his clothes to determine which were clean and which were dirty when Cas kneeled on the bed in front of him, put his hands on Dean’s face and kissed him deeply. Dean responded by grabbing Cas’s hips and pulling him closer. When they pulled up for air, they pressed they’re foreheads together. “I missed you” Cas whispered, lips inches away from Dean’s. “I know” he said and kissing him again, a little more gently.

Things weren’t perfect between the two of them, but Dean had a feeling they were starting to get better. They were starting to heal.


	5. Thin Lizzie

**Thin Lizzie**

 

Dean woke up with Cas’s limbs wrapped around him, at some point during the night they had kicked the covers, and while normally Dean loved cuddling with Cas, he really need to pee right now. While it wasn’t unusual for Castiel to sleep anymore, it was weird that Dean was up before him so he decided to wait a little longer before waking the angel up. It wasn’t really a long wait, because a few minutes later Cas started stirring, his cheek was resting on Dean’s chest and when he looked up, blue eyes met green. “Good morning sweetheart” Dean whispered, “‘morning,” Cas grumbled and snuggled closer to Dean, hiding his head in the crook of his neck. Dean kissed the top of his head. “Sorry to wake you up baby, but I need to go to the bathroom.” Cas unwillingly untangled himself from Dean and rolled back to his side of the bed, sleeping was one human habit he refused to let go. It did make him feel more rested and more importantly he got to spend a little more time with Dean, even if they were both unconscious. 

When Dean came back from the bathroom Cas was already dressed in his usual suit and trench coat. “Aw, did I miss the show?” Dean asked him mockingly as he undressed. Castiel rolled his eyes and Dean just let out a breathy laugh. Once they both looked decent enough, they headed towards the kitchen to have breakfast. Even though it was only eleven, Sam had already gone out to buy groceries for the rest of the week, Sam was usually the one buying them because he legitimately enjoyed the alone time, also Cas and checking out machines just didn’t go well and Dean absolutely refused to go shopping. So Dean and Cas were on their own for the remainder of the morning, Cas was an absolute mess when it came to cooking, so they developed a system. Dean would take care of the cooking and Cas would clean the dishes afterwards. So as Dean was making eggs and bacon, Castiel set the table and then went to hug Dean from behind, placing small kisses to the back of his neck. 

“Mmm, careful there. You don’t want to burn the eggs” Cas whispered in his ear. “I won’t burn them if someone stops distracting me” Dean replied, though he didn’t really want he contact to stop. They had breakfast and headed back to their room, as promised, they had started watching Orange is the New Black together, Cas was loving it and while Dean pretended he was only watching it because Cas liked it, even though he was secretly a fan.

 

Around 3 Dean emerged from their bedroom and went to check up on Sam, apparently he had found a “case” in the house of a famous killer. “I know what this is, it has to do with your freaky fetish for serial killers, doesn’t it” Dean accused. “It’s not a fetish” Sam said quietly “You’ve always wanted to see that house” Dean replied mockingly “Dean, two people are dead. In Lizzie Borden’s home. We have no leads on Amara, I say we check this out. Besides the entire Borden clan are buried in Fall River, including Lizzie” Sam had a good point, even if he just wanted to see Lizzie Borden’s house. “Fine, I’ll go get Cas. He’s knee deep in The Wire. Just started season two.” Dean gave in. 

He went back inside their bedroom and packed enough clothes for the two of them while Castiel finished the episode he was on. When the credits rolled, Dean took the control of the bed and turned the TV off “Sam thinks he found us a case, it’s probably nothing. I think he just wants to stay at the creepy serial killer hotel” He told Cas “What? Why would he want to do that?” Cas asked him. “Well he has this thing about serial killers and I though why not, let’s just humor him. Everything is all packed up, let’s go Sam’s waiting.” And the three of them set off on the Impala to The Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast.

“People still freaked out about the murders” Dean asked the concierge once he hung up the phone.  “Some find it exciting. Can I help you boys?” He asked them. “Yeah” Sam answered “We read about the tragedy and I’m a bit of a history buff, and I wanted to ask. Do you think the killings had anything to do with Lizzie Borden, I mean her ghost or whatever” 

“Probably just some crazed fan broke in, right?” Dean said. “These are great questions guys, ones we usually answer for our paying guests.” The concierge told them. “Right” said Sam as he took out his wallet “Well you can pick your rooms” the concierge said. “I’ll take the one the couple was in, and they'll take the one next door” Sam said gesturing to Dean and Cas. “The deceased couple” The concierge asked with a concerned expression. “We came a long way to see some ghosts, we figured there’s the most unrest there” Dean explained.  The man seemed reluctant to lease it out of respect for the dead, but once Dean shoved a couple of twenties his way, he seemed to change his mind. 

Once they stepped foot inside of their room, Dean immediately wanted to leave. “I don’t know where to put my eyes, I think i’m going to throw up” he said. “Come on Dean it’s not that bad,” Cas said “and we’ll be in Sam’s room most of the time anyways.” Dean didn’t seem convinced but he left the duffle on the bed all the same and they knocked on Sam’s door. Somehow it was worse. “We’re surrounded by doilies,” Sam said as he opened the door “they’re everywhere”. They took out they’re EMF detectors and wandered about the room.  “What is that smell?” said Castiel as he exited the bathroom. “I think it’s this,” Sam said holding up a perfume bottle “it’s lavender toilet water” he pressed the button and liquid squirted out.  “Bottled toilet water?” Dean asked outraged “Why do you keep spraying it?”

“I just wanted to see if the squeezy thing worked” Sam replied a bit on the defensive side. “I’m going to check out the rest of the inn, Cas you check down stairs and Sam you stay on this floor” Dean commanded and just walked right out the door. Turns out the EMF signal was fake, as were the flickering lights and weird sounds. The whole place was a hoax. They agreed to spend the night they had paid for and leave first thing in the morning. 

 

Castiel wasn’t really bothered by the B&B’s layout, he didn’t care where he slept as long as it was next to Dean, but to say Dean was uncomfortable with the frills and the flowers was an understatement, so he stripped to his boxers and shirt and lay down hugging his boyfriend to his chest. Like a real man. They were just beginning to drift to sleep when there was a knock on they’re door. “It’s your turn, man” Dean said and pulled Cas closer to his chest. “I can’t get up if you don’t let me go Dean” Cas answered with an amused smirk. It was Sam at the door, the owner of the place, the concierge’s mother, had been killed. They identified as FBI and started working the case, Dean had a feeling it wasn’t just a coincidence anymore.

While scoping the Inn Dean had seen a man outside with a old camera, they where headed his way when Sam got the call about another victim. Sam and Cas went to check out the victim, while Dean went to talk to the guy. What he found when he got there wasn’t good, the guy, Len, had no soul, and while he didn’t kill anyone he was still a liability. 

As fate would have it Lizzie wasn’t killing anyone, more so it was the babysitter. They had stumbled across one of Amara’s victims, she had taken her soul and the babysitter had gone and killed everyone that had wronged her. Fortunately they had been saved by Len who shot the babysitter and ended up taking the blame for all the murders so that he would be locked up and wouldn’t hurt anyone else.

 

“I can’t believe Len turned himself in” Dean was eating his burger leaning against Cas’s chest who was sat on the hood of the Impala. Sam was leaning on the hood as well next to them “I mean, it kinda makes sense. People have different reactions to losing their souls, I did. Everyone has got their own history”

“That’s true, losing your souls is like losing your inhibitions, you do what ever you want without your conscience getting in the way. Len didn't hold any resentment towards anyone, so his first instinct wasn’t to kill, but if he isn’t controlled, he might start killing for the sake of killing,” Cas said.

“Len loses his heart, Sydney loses her head, what are we looking for the cowardly lion next?” Dean said sarcastically. “I get this pit in my stomach any time I think of her. The darkness. Like we only know the tip of what she is, what she does to people. Len was freaked out by her but Sydney, Sydney couldn't get enough and that bliss she was talking about” Sam mused, “What was it like for you? Did you feel like that with Amara?” He asked.

“No. It was quiet, until she started hatching killers and monsters to raise armies” Dean wasn’t lying, he hadn’t felt uneasy around her, on the contrary, it was like she calmed him. That scared him. Amara was certain he was going to choose her, that he would become one with her, but he knew that if it came down to living forever with Amara or dying with his family, he would choose his family every time. Cas had wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, and he pressed a kiss to the crown of his head.

“So that’s how where going to find her, huh? Following bodies” Sam wasn’t thrilled with the plan but it was all they had. “You got a better idea? We could follow the crazy you’ve been seeing.” Dean said bitterly “Dean” Cas exclaimed in a warning tone. “Look at the rate Amara’s growing, sucking souls, getting stronger, she might not be that hard to find. Let’s go” Dean snapped. He didn’t mean to, but this whole Darkness thing really had him on edge. The three of them got back into the car, Sam lying down in the back seat to catch up on some sleep, and Cas in the front to keep Dean awake the rest of the way. Dean knew he was being unnecessarily difficult so he reached over and grabbed Cas’s hand in his, silently hoping he would get the message. He did, and squeezed Dean’s hand, but kept it firmly gripped of the rest of the journey.

 


End file.
